you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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