There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
