do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
