She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
