He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
