My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
