I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
