I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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