Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
