Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
