My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
