Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
