Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
