yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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