Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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