Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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