My girlfriend figured out who you are.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
