ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i wish my penis had a tongue
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
