I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
