I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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