youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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