we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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