She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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