I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
