you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I'm bleeding and have questions
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
