hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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