Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
