just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
