she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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