ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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