Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
