Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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