I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
