I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
