I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
