ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
