i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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