is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
