Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
