At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
i came on her dog
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
