Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
