I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize