"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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