i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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