Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
