How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
