if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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