No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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