go do what you do best...puke behind churches
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
My ass is underappreciated
It's shark week go big or go home
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
