I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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